It's Them again

It’s Them again.

You know who I mean: Them, also known as They with the capital T, as in “They say this” or “They say that.”

We never quite know who They are or where They get their information. And what about their academic credentials?

Beats us. Yet we believe Them.

Oh yes. They just have to get out a little nugget of their so-called wisdom, dip it in something that looks like common sense, add a pinch of plausibility, season with righteousness (or something with bitter aftertaste), and serve it up.

And then they sit back and watch us swallow it whole without question or second thought.

And after we’ve digested one of these little morsels of truth, we burp it right back up again and share it with others.

“You should drink eight cups of water per day,” we say with lip-smacking confidence.

“You’ll ruin your eyes if you read in dim light,” we warn, with finger-wagging righteousness.

“You know, we only use ten-percent of our brains. Such a waste, isn’t it?” And we shake our under utilized little heads.

So sure are we.

And then what happens? Whoops. Well. Ha. Actually. It isn’t quite true about the eight cups of water, the dim light ruining your eyes and the only-using-ten-percent-of-your-brain thing.

They, apparently, are wrong. It turns out that these truths They have been spouting all these years are myths built on the flimsiest of evidence, if any evidence at all.

Another cup of water, anyone?

And do we get the satisfaction of seeing Them come forward to wring their hands in public, own up to their mistakes and beg us for forgiveness?

No. There are no apologies because They are nowhere to be found. Why? Because, there is no Them when They are wrong.

So that leaves you holding the bag because you have bought their line. And not only that, but you have also proselytized their line because you were so sure They had it right.

And you know what that means? That’s right. You are Them. (Cue gothic horror music now.)

In my case, being Them meant hectoring my poor children to death about those cursed eight cups of water. Day in, day out, before they went to school, after sports, before bed, in the middle of the night. The message was basically: “Drink eight cups of water or you will die!”

So complete was my faith in the eight-cups-of-water rule, I that I sent my little darlings to school with Nalgene bottles full of water. You know Nalgene, the sporty outdoor plastic bottles with the nasty chemicals that leach into your little darlings causing untold health damage? Yes, those.

So now I know better. And so do you. And we have only ourselves to blame because we swallowed their line and in so doing, we became Them. Great.

So where does that leave us. They have said so many things – things like eat lots of fruit and vegetables, take regular exercise and never swim alone.

What do we believe now? I’m sure some of things They said are correct. But if eight-cups-of-water rule isn’t quite right, then what is?

Say, didn’t They said something about taking eight cups of bourbon per day?

Freelance They-hater Gail Lethbridge is not one of Them. Visit her blog: http://giftedtypist.com