Slobs rule

Slobs, take heed for I bring you glad tidings.

Just when you thought there was no escape from iron rule of the declutterers; just as you were about to surrender to the pressure and tidy up your desk; just as you were about to break down and pick up that copy of Homes and Gardens magazine at the grocery store check outs, I have urgent news.

Stop the presses. Stop the clocks. Stop the guilt. It turns out that the Neakniks and the Marthas of this world may not have been so right after all.

The good news comes in a new book called “A Perfect Mess: The Hidden Benefits of Disorder - How Crammed Closets, Cluttered Offices, and On-the-Fly Planning Make the World a Better Place.”

See? Even the title is messy. You have to like a book with a messy title.

According to authors Eric Abrahamson and David Freedman, obsessive neatness spells – are you ready for this, Slobs? – trouble! The theory is that that too much attention to neatness consumes time, stifles creativity and wastes valuable resources that could be used for other things.

Oh let me sip the sweet nectar from your cup, Mr. Abrahamson and Mr. Freedman,

Apparently – and this is them talking, not me, - North American society is far too focused on organization. Look at the multi-billion dollar industry that has sprung up around organizing - books, TV programs, mavens of gracious living. There’s even a National Association of Professional Organizers with its own acronym, NAPA.

If neatness is the new religion; then mess and clutter are the new evil. Have you ever heard someone talking in tones of spiritual transformation after a garage clean-out. They purge and cleanse and renew. Praise Martha.

But is a pile of newspapers on the coffee table really so bad? Is an empty cup here and there really going to hurt us? And what are garages for, if not to pile stuff we don’t know what to do with? Does a bit of mess really make us sinners and loser-faces? I say no. And the authors of A Perfect Mess say no too.

They argue that people with messy desks can in fact find things. They may not be able to recite chapter and verse what is in that pile of papers on the desk, but when they are looking for a certain piece of paper, it will more likely than not be in that pile. It is a system. That’s why messy people don’t like you to tidy up. You’re wrecking their system.

But here’s the real problem with obsessive organization: What about all the things you aren’t doing when you’re busy tidying? If you spend too much time and resources tidying up and feeling bad and guilty when you haven’t, then you aren’t thinking about other things, like work and coming up with new ways to solve problems.

How can you possibly think outside the box if you spend all your time trying to get the inside of the box cleaned, dusted and organized?

Here’s another way to think about it. Was Einstein a neat and tidy person? What if he’d spent his all his time decluttering and obsessing over gracious living instead of thinking about the space-time continuum? Well, we would have a theory of relativity, would we?

No, Slobs, it’s time we fought back. It’s time we seized the dusters from the Neatniks and put our feet up on the coffee table with newspapers strewn all over. It’s time we sipped that coffee and left the cup there for a day or two. It’s time to think about more important things than dust and decluttering.

The world needs more Slobs and few Marthas.

And do you want in a dirty little secret? That pile of newspapers on your coffee table? It actually catches the dust and keeps the table clean. You just chuck the papers out once a week and bingo, clean coffee table. No dusting.

So put that in your can of Pledge and spray it, Martha!

Freelance clutter maven Gail Lethbridge would not have finished this column in time had she been dusting and decluttering. Visit her blog: giftedtypist.com

glethbridge@herald.ca